myfuckeduplifesofar

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myfuckeduplifesofar

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a picture of the author age 5 with a green day beanie, standing like billie joe with a toy guitar.
Hello There!

...and welcome to my little corner of the internet.

This blog is hosted to immortalise in a way everything i do, 

i've done, think and feel.

And to showcase works, both words and sounds, to write up about them, what they mean, what i was thinking/going through and how/why i made them.


There's much to see,

So have a look round, take your time.

message me
gigs i’ve attended
music i've writeen
words i've wrote

A bit more about me, and what's going in my head right now.

so who am i?

growin' and learnin'

growin' and learnin'

  • gareth
  • 24
  • he/him
  • scottish
  • tim
  • music lover
  • dastardly
  • gamer
  • aspey


Scottish multi-instrumentalist and genre-hopping composer, into everything from progressive and thrash metal to punk, stoner, trance, ambient, synth, electronic, and video game music. 


 Previously known as Bravo Five, Gareth primarily works as a solo artist, crafting music and art by himself, for himself 

(not averse to the occasional collab).


They also are prone to jotting down the twists and turns of life, sharing the highs, lows, and in-betweens—because, 

why not? 

growin' and learnin'

growin' and learnin'

growin' and learnin'

From a very young age they have been surrounded and inspired by music, from the likes of Metallica and Green Day, all they way to Ariana Grande and Girls Aloud and everything in-between, they have been indulging in everything they can get their hands on and loving every moment of it. And packed with that much inspiration, creativity and experiences, it was only a matter of time before they started putting them together.  


 Diving into music composition and live performance as soon as they could, Gareth immersed themselves in Glasgow’s live music scene, playing shows and working their way up from an HNC to a First-Class Honours and an MMUS in Music Composition. Even with all the knowledge, creativity, and experience, though, they’ve yet to land a spot in a performing band.


But they keep tryin’.

identity problems

growin' and learnin'

tryin' and failin'

Gareth has wrestled with self-doubt and the struggle to complacent with creative ideas , spending years finding their voice, place and even a sense of identity—something that would finally stick. But they think they've found it this time.

  

 Creativity has always kept them moving; they’re constantly imagining new, better things, craving the ideal persona, the perfect logo, the right title...


With so many different alias under them, stick just makes sense, it's been a word that has been with them for very long.  

It’s personal, meaningful, and  refreshingly free of the cringe of 

“Bravo Five” 

or the confusing mystery of

“Powehi.” 


stick is here to stay, to create and to improve, this entire craft is about getting better and progressing, and creating something you can be proud of.



tryin' and failin'

older but not so wiser

tryin' and failin'

 Gareth has always dreamed of performing live music. Whether playing originals or covers, perfectly articulating the most impactful setlists crafted to balance genres, give the crowd space to breathe, and move them from crying to moshing—and back again. 


 For years, they’ve performed these shows for themselves, but the confidence (and know-how) to take it public has been harder to find. 


Between self-doubt and the challenges of navigating autism, getting a gig—literally and figuratively—hasn’t been easy. 


 Still, they’re learning and playing more than ever, working on plans for a project of their own. 


The end goal remains, now and always: to tell a story through music and share it live. 

older but not so wiser

older but not so wiser

older but not so wiser

 Despite it all, Gareth feels like they haven’t taken any real steps toward what they want to achieve. 


Inspiration is always there, and motivation surges in bursts, but somehow, it’s been day after day of just getting by, the days feeling shorter, the dreams feeling further away. 


With no job, no finished portfolio—what’s the point? 


They have been making big plans since 2021, both musically and with personal life, job, partner, wanting to stream more often, wanting to get back into graphic design, need to finish university, not wanting to talk to anyone, not wanting to do anything, wanting to do everything at once.


These last few years have been tough, but this is the 4am inspiration to turn your life around he's been waiting on.

so from here on out

older but not so wiser

older but not so wiser

A different Gareth is going to emerge out the arse of 2025 and hopefully with a plan, a job, and on track to get back to what they love, creating. 


 They’re done being the one who lets people down, the one who talks about ideas without ever seeing them through. 


It’s time to just f*cking go for it. 


No more “this would be cool” or “maybe that would work"...


they’re here to learn it, make it, do it. 




I don't care if I die a nobody.

I just wanna have done something.

Made and achieved things.

I always thought I couldn't.


stick,

Gareth Carthew.




recent posts

- likes -

- dislikes -

- dislikes -

  • metallica
  • lavender
  • red
  • green day
  • lucozade carribean crush
  • guitar hero
  • billie eilish
  • pin-ups
  • les paul shape
  • cream eggs
  • pigeons
  • ariana grande
  • overwatch
  • party rings
  • blitz from r6s
  • lego
  • wacky races
  • foxes
  • woman's fashion
  • wales
  • dr pepper
  • water
  • airpods
  • england
  • curry sauce
  • the irish
  • turtwig
  • slaters (woodlouse)
  • eminem

- dislikes -

- dislikes -

- dislikes -

  • heights
  • buzzing of insects
  • lenticular printing 
  • wine
  • country music
  • gore
  • activision
  • cheese
  • being too hot
  • the beatles
  • cream
  • spending money
  • not being able to spend money
  • overwatch
  • sun cream
  • playing r6s
  • sitting still
  • liquorish
  • not being able to sit still
  • limited time content
  • milk
  • sleep
  • being tired
  • english people
  • sony
  • android
  • blizzard support system

© 2015-2025 myfuckeduplifesofar 

v0.0.8.3 - last updated 24/01/25 10:54am

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